Note: the blue italics indicate the teacher, in black others participants.

External considering

Body consciousness and divided attention are prerequisites for external considering. I feel that some are using it wrongly or they are making a concept out of it. But this is not a concept, it is a gesture.

What is external considering for you?

Taking into account the other. For example, putting a needed tool between two potential users of the tool, instead of carrying it off with you without regard for the other.

Clearing the path for people to pass without them having to go around you.

Not forgetting to consider oneself at the same level as the others, to avoid falling in the role of savior.

Adjusting the light in the evening so as to not to disturb my roommate.

I’m not saying that this is not a good way to behave, but this is not external considering, because the external considering is a move that is in the moment. When we take into account the context of the other. It is an extension of the body consciousness and divided attention.

It is to put oneself at the (same) level (as the other).

A way to train the voice, for example. When you speak to a group, your voice must be adapted, talking loud enough and in a clear way. And conversely, when you are one meter from a person, it is useless to speak very loudly. It may be an indicator that you are identified with what you want to say, and having lost body consciousness.

I will add the adaptability. For the same context, the action can be different.

In addition to external considering, there is the fact that it is in the moment.

In external considering we often take into account others more than ourselves, or at least as much. I disappear in this moment.

This is also what we share when we speak in circles and when we indicate to the other what suits him and also when we do not indicate to him sometimes, if we feel that he cannot integrate or understand at this moment.

External considering is not only the consideration of others. It also encompasses them, but it takes (into consideration) every context, the situation of the moment.

There is also no inner considering. One can’t be in external considering if one is in inner considering. And it is also related to true humility. We consider the needs of the other before our own. And I wonder if this is not in everyone’s essential value.

So this emerges more and more: body consciousness, divided attention, I am, external considering, essential value.

It can also be to refrain from saying or doing.

And it can be the courage to say something to another. It corresponds to level 2 of the work. It can be to say, thank you for example, but also to point out something.

It can be also to say NO. This is very important.

It is better to say no than to say yes with inner considering.

Obviously, in our everyday life, we must adapt it.

It also depends on what we feel for others.

When you know the person well, you find appropriate strategies.

Sometimes, we are in an extreme situation where nothing is possible and we are confronted with our helplessness.

In this case, we can take the other into account, but in fact, any action is impossible.